Valentine's Day is coming, and romance is in the air! But let's be honest, the pressure for grand romantic gestures can be a bit much. Chocolates, flowers, and candlelit dinners are lovely, but what if your love language is less "poetic sonnet" and more "snorting with laughter"? If you believe the couple that laughs together, stays together, you've come to the right place. This year, let's trade the sappy for the snappy with some hilarious Valentine's Day quotes.
Forget the clichés. Humor is the secret ingredient that makes love feel real, relatable, and a whole lot more fun. Whether you're celebrating with a long-term partner, a new flame, or your amazing self, a good laugh is the best gift of all. We've rounded up over 80 funny, witty, and downright hilarious quotes to help you share a smile this February 14th.
Funny Valentine's Day Quotes for Your Partner
Sometimes, the most romantic thing you can say is something that makes your partner crack up. Here are 20 quotes perfect for the one who shares your weird sense of humor.
- I love you more than coffee, but please don't make me prove it.
- Happy Valentine's Day to the only person I'd share my snacks with.
- I'm so glad I found my weirdo. You're the best one.
- You're the one I want to annoy for the rest of my days. Happy Valentine's!
- I love you with all my butt. I would say heart, but my butt is bigger.
- Are you a 45-degree angle? Because you're a-cute-y.
- Every day I fall more in love with you. Except for yesterday. Yesterday you were really annoying.
- I love you. You're the best person to lie in bed and look at my phone with.
- Let's celebrate Valentine's Day the right way: with a full pizza and no sharing.
- I knew I loved you when I farted, and you didn't run away.
- You're my favorite person to be socially awkward with.
- I love that we can communicate just with facial expressions.
- Thanks for being the one who understands I'm not a morning person.
- You're the cheese to my macaroni, and I love a cheesy Valentine.
- Happy Valentine's Day! I'm yours. No refunds.
- I'm so happy I swiped right.
- You have my heart, and my Netflix password.
- Our love is like a romantic comedy, minus the romance and just the comedy.
- Thanks for putting up with me. I know it's not easy.
- I love you even when I'm hangry.
Hilarious Quotes for Him
Want to make your guy laugh? These quotes are a perfect mix of love and Valentine's Day humor he'll appreciate.
- I love you more than video games. And that's saying a lot.
- Happy Valentine's Day to my handsome man. Now, can you open this jar for me?
- You're the only guy I'd shave my legs for in the winter.
- I love that you don't expect me to be a supermodel. In return, I won't expect you to be a superhero.
- Thanks for killing all the spiders. My hero!
- You're my favorite human to have pointless arguments with.
- I love you for your personality, but that beard is a huge bonus.
- Happy Valentine's Day! Let's do what we do every night: try to figure out what to eat.
- You're the reason I look at my phone and smile. And then walk into a pole.
- You're not just my boyfriend, you're my favorite blanket stealer.
- I love you like a hobbit loves second breakfast.
- Thanks for being my unpaid therapist.
- You're the Ken to my Barbie. You're just... Ken.
- I'm so glad you're as weird as I am.
- You're okay, I guess. Happy Valentine's Day!
Witty Valentine's Day Quotes for Her
Show her you adore her sharp mind with these witty and funny love quotes that are as smart as she is.
- I love you more than I love scrolling through Target.
- Happy Valentine's Day to the woman who has my heart and my credit card.
- You're the best thing I've ever found on the internet.
- I love that you know exactly how to load the dishwasher correctly.
- You're the queen of my heart and the ruler of our remote control.
- Happy Valentine's Day! I promise to at least pretend to listen to you today.
- I'm so glad you're my emergency contact person.
- You're beautiful, smart, and funny. You must have gotten it from me.
- Roses are red, violets are blue, the dog is my favorite, but you're okay too.
- I love that our love story is my favorite story.
- I love you enough to make a ridiculously public declaration of it.
- Thank you for loving me even though I can be a real pain.
- You're the only person I would trust with my deepest, darkest secrets and my skincare routine.
- You're my everything. And my reason for having no storage on my phone.
- Let's be lazy together forever. Happy Valentine's Day!
Anti-Valentine's & Singles' Quotes
Not a fan of the holiday? Or happily single? This section is for you. Share these single Valentine's Day quotes and embrace your freedom!
- Happy Valentine's Day to me. I love you, girl.
- Relationship status: Committed to inner peace, buying my own chocolate, and enjoying my own bed.
- Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.
- Cupid, please just send wine.
- I'm not single. I'm in a long-term relationship with adventure and fun.
- Shoutout to all my fellow singles. More chocolate for us!
- Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
- Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, oxygen, and carbon dioxide are in the air.
- My one true love? Myself.
- I'm going to spend Valentine's Day with my true love: food.
- Happy Drink-Wine-and-Eat-Chocolate-Alone Day!
- Valentine's Day is for couples. The other 364 days are for me.
- Being single on Valentine's Day is so much better than being in the wrong relationship.
- I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.
- I like my relationships like I like my coffee: non-existent.
Funny Quotes About Love & Marriage
For those who have been through it all and can laugh about it. These quotes perfectly capture the hilarious reality of long-term love.
- Marriage is a workshop... where one person works and the other one shops.
- Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.
- Marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you can irritate for the rest of your life.
- A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. And a lot of patience.
- Love is not having to hold your stomach in anymore.
- Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man-child who can't find his own socks.
- The secret to a happy marriage is if you can be at peace with someone within four walls.
- Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.
- Marriage is basically just whispering, 'Are you awake? I need to show you this cat video.'
- Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are.
- Love is sharing your popcorn. Marriage is fighting over the last piece.
- A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.
- Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
- Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
How to Create a Funny Valentine’s Video with CapCut
Reading a funny quote is one thing, but turning it into a hilarious video is a whole new level of fun! With CapCut, you can easily create a memorable Valentine's video that will have your special someone, or your friends, laughing out loud. The Script to Video feature makes it incredibly simple.
Ready to share the laughter? Take your favorite quote from this list and turn it into a unique and funny video message. It's a modern, creative way to show you care. Give it a try with CapCut and make this Valentine's Day one to remember!
Conclusion
Valentine's Day doesn't have to be all serious and sentimental. It's a celebration of love, and love is often filled with laughter, inside jokes, and a healthy dose of silliness. Using hilarious Valentine's Day quotes is the perfect way to honor the real, funny, and perfectly imperfect love you share. Whether you write one in a card, post it on social media, or say it out loud, a funny line can be more memorable than a dozen roses.
FAQs
Where can I find funny Valentine's Day quotes for my card?
This article is a great starting point, with over 80 options! You can also find great funny valentines day quotes on social media sites like Pinterest and Instagram. For a truly unique touch, use a quote to create a custom video card. You can use a tool like CapCut to add the text to a funny photo or video of you and your partner, creating a personalized and memorable message.
What is some good Valentine's Day humor for a new relationship?
For a new relationship, it's best to stick to light-hearted and general valentines day humor. Avoid inside jokes that are too personal or jokes about marriage and long-term commitment. Quotes like "I'm so happy I swiped right" or "Are you a 45-degree angle? Because you're a cutie" are safe and charming options that show your fun side without being too intense.
Are there any funny love quotes for people who hate Valentine's Day?
Absolutely! The "Anti-Valentine's & Singles' Quotes" section of this article is dedicated to just that. Lines like "Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka is cheaper than dinner for two" offer a hilarious, cynical take on the holiday. These funny love quotes are perfect for sharing with friends who feel the same way about the commercialization of love.
How can I use single Valentine's Day quotes creatively?
You can use single Valentine's Day quotes to celebrate your independence and have a laugh with friends! Post them on your Instagram story with a picture of you enjoying your day, or text a funny one to your group chat. You could even use CapCut to compile a few of your favorite quotes into a "Single's Anthem" video montage set to an upbeat song, celebrating self-love and friendship.